Since Saturday's play, when I nearly had a panic attack because Master placed his hand around my neck, then asking Master if breathplay can never be done again, I've had a terrible guilty, disappointed feeling which just won't go away.
And I don't really understand it.
I feel like I've let myself down and disappointed Master.
Since we ventured into this journey, there's been many things I said I would never do and over time Master has encouraged me to do them and learn to love it.
So I know it certainly wasn't Masters fault, it was my fear that couldn't go away.
I know Master would never do anything to hurt me deliberately and I know he watches me constantly during our play to ensure I'm okay, so that's no concern. It's all mental. This has been the only time I've felt scared, I mean real fucking scared. Of such a small thing like a hand barely touching my throat.
Yet this small thing renders me to hysteria.
Master hasn't mentioned it again and we've not played since but I've got this awful feeling I've disappointed him by not trusting him, which of course I do 100%, I feel I've disappointed myself so Master could be feeling the same way. I need to talk to him about it but truthfully, I'm scared he will say I have. It will break my heart if he says those words.
Now comes the hard part though, if we talk about it and decide to try it slowly, very slowly, can I overcome my fear ? Am I better just leaving this alone ? Am I doing it just to please Master and if I am, is that okay ? I'm not sure how much of this play I could do. But this feeling of disappointment is so huge and just won't go away.
But my fear is just as big as the disappointment. I don't know what to do.
I'm looking to film with female subs/bottoms in Glasgow city centre, if you are in to caning even better. If you're a masochist then that would be awesome.
I can play to any level and always respect limits. If you have other interests then I can incorporate them into the scene, I'm experienced in many different fetishes so just ask if you're unsure of my capabilities in your preferred fetish.
I don't care about age, shape or anything else like that. Please get in touch if you would be interested. Over 18's only.
I have mainly been filming with friends of mine from the fet scene.
I woke up this morning with a craving for a fizzy drink. I knew there was a big bottle of 7up in the fridge.
Do you think I could get the bloody lid undone?... no, Mark has 'just done it up' whereas now, unless you have the strength of Thor that lid is not coming off...all day I've gotta wait now and every now and then I look at the bottle and curl my top lip.
I hate being a girrrrrrrl. :(
Had my first real spanking a month or so back and it was amazing the guy knew exactly how to go between maintenance and punishment, it hurt like crazy but the warmth I felt between was amazing. So thankful to him for taking time out to help me and discipline me. I was wanting it to end during I can’t deny when my butt was receiving the cane but now I kinda miss it and the feeling!! Had to share xx
Just over a week ago Jen and I were invited to a party in another county. Miss D from our spanking circle had promised us a good time and an experience we would never forget.Jen was hesitant,she describes Miss D as a 'bit highty,flighty' but we went along to see what would happen. It was just as well that this party was held way out in the countryside for when Jen and I arrived we were met by a man wearing very tight leathar shorts,nothing else just the shorts and with a studded clerical collar around his neck,he offered to park my car and when we introduced ourselves and asked his name ,he introduced himself as simply 'Valet'.Jen burst into laughter probably more at the look on my face than this gentleman wearing his tight shorts in freezing weather. I declined his offer to park my car,but was told it was 'house rules'.As we spoke to this gentleman a lady approached and without warning whacked Mr.Valet on his bottom with a riding crop;it seems she saw that he did not bow to us;Valet immediately apologised and knelt down in front of us and begged forgiveness.Jen continued to laugh and I hushed her by slipping my hand behind and squeezing her on her bottom. I locked my car and decided not to let Valet mind my keys,we were escorted by the lady with the riding crop to the house.Once inside we were met by a beautiful young woman holding a silver try of wine glasses. Jen and I took a glass each and began to mingle. This sort of party maybe to other's tastes but not to mine,I am not really into bondage in this form;people were going around dressed in leathar,some wore masks with zippers on them and there was too many men subs and not enough female subs,or that was what I thought at first glance.
Miss D spotted us and before long we were being wined and dined in the very large dining room,I loved this room,the decor was Georgian,something I really like,and there was some beautiful landscape paintings hanging from the walls. My attention was however brought back to what was going on in front of me. Another gentleman in a school uniform had spilled some wine and was bending over the lap of a woman dressed in a leathar nun's habit.Miss D and Jen laughed and then Miss D announced that I use be a '...Catholic Nun for eighteen years.'Everyone looked. I have always been amazed by the reaction of men when they hear this. I was met with chorus of ,'You should spank the naughty boy,' 'Take me in hand',etc.,etc. I stood my ground and informed all present that when I spank it hurts;this was met with laughter.To my surprise the lady in the nun's habit stood up and and asked me would I be comfortable in spanking her while all present watched. I looked around,I knew a few faces from previous partis we have been at.I sat on a chair and ordered her to come across my lap.This was met with cheers and wolf whistles. I did find this lady to my liking and as she lay there I told her that I would educate her in how to give a good spanking,none of that wrist action I saw her use on the young gentleman over her knee.Once a safe word was agreed,a safe word that everyone found funny,including me,I began. Little bit of caressing and then that first slap;raising my hand up just above my shoulder and then bringing it down.The second slap was harder than the first,I had this urge to find out how much she could take,she squealed a little,more of a whimper,I brought my hand down again and again.I like to spank slow,I have always believed in letting the sting settle,and letting the spankee wait for the next slap,Jenny knows this only too well. At each slap the room erupted in more cheering,I was wondering was I surrounded by amatuer's .I hushed them and continued with the spanking.As I continued Miss D asked would I 'do her next'; she has been over my knee plenty of times.The lady over my knee took her spanking well,after awhile she began to move,I do love when they struggle,LOL, but I continued until she eventually cried out the safe word. She stood up and immediately rubbed her bottom and proclaimed, "WOW,what a rush!" Jenny laughed and was told that she was a lucky girl.Eventually it was time for Jen and I to leave,but we did make more friends ,but the whole bondage scene is not really for us,we like the simple things in life like a good old fashioned over the knee spanking;we will stick with out little spanking circle,still it was an experience and reminded me of a occasion I once had in Paris a number of years ago.If you are good,well behaved boys and girls I may tell you about that sometime.
On the home front there has been the usual discord between Jen and my niece,this time about a soiled garment,my niece had worn Jen's legal gown,for a laugh I have been led to believe, while her friends were visiting and someone spilled Taco sauce on it,they have not spoken to each other in over a week now,in a way I am enjoying the silence,but I will be taking them both out to dinner at the weekend to try to smooth things over. I have told Jen that stuff happens to gowns all the time;when I graduated from University all those years ago my gown was caught in a car door and ripped,I received my degree in a gown with safety pins in it to keep it together,LOL. The Taco stain is proving difficult to get out but that's because Jen tried to do it herself instead of bringing the gown to a dry cleaners,deary me,will this girl ever listen?
I have help on the farm at last.One of my niece's friends is studying Agricultural Science and needs a work placement,so she does the milking four mornings a week and various other jobs around the farm. Finally Jen bought a horse.We discussed this for ages and eventually decided to buy the horse whom Jen has named Bertie. Muggins here has been left with taking care of Bertie because Jen believes she is 'lady of the manor'.
In addition to Bertie,we now have four cats,two dogs,and twelve cows. Take good care my friends and behave,or else....!
A few people wanted to know how many strokes I got with each toy during Saturday's play. I've done my best to count the hammer but it was so fast I could've missed some.
So here goes………..
I've just watched the full video and I must say, I did enjoy watching it back. I love seeing Masters face, how much he's enjoying it and looks so smug at times.
Plus love watching my reactions, I realise why Master tells me to be quiet now, I'm rather noisy during spanking and sex. Oh well, least the neighbours will know we've had fun coz I'm sure they must hear something as we hear their baby cry and the little girl shouting, crying, playing. Wonder what they're thinking ? I know one thing for sure, I cannot leave a window open during our play lol.
Morning spanking postponed until tonight so doubled the count.
We've been having problems with our boiler again, as typically it chooses Christmas time to break down, though most of the parts have been replaced, Masters doing everything to avoid the inevitable replacement.
So as he was trying to get the heating on, he was late leaving for work. I was told he would have to leave the morning spanking as he's late so I will get double tonight !!!
How's that fair ? Now 60 swats this evening, if we get chance. But still not fair when I didn't do anything wrong for once. Its bugged me all day so I decided to blog about it,
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Sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Everything around you's growin' old.
The days drag on, the nights last forever,
Every day's tougher just to keep it together.
Forget everything you've ever known,
Except for home.
Home is where the heart is:
That's what somebody once said. (Yeah.)
I think your heart is where your love is:
All the rest baby, the rest it's all in your head.
WHEN EVERYTHING IS ON YOUR LAST NERVE...
Where are you, imps?
Different spankings, different people, different times and different situations and encounters and atmospheres.
There’s never the same experience twice, is there?
We know that many spankings have different purposes. Sometimes I’m seeking spankings for discipline, or domination, or pain, or something erotic with the man who drives me to see brighter colors....
But sometimes I miss the playful fun, the banter and the sneakiness and the prodding. Sure, it’s not always the time or place or situation. But, sometimes,... just sometimes, you know?
To have that little challenge, the wrestling, the pranks, the retorts. Yes, I smile evilly just thinking of it. If we are all in it together, all on the same page about what’s happening, then I do absolutely have a strong imp in me.
I admit I am wickedly proud of some of my pranks. And whether it results in a very good, well-earned, bare bottom spanking for my efforts -- or my knowing another bottom has suffered over a knee due to my secret instigation.... Ah yes. I can’t help but smile.
It doesn’t help me currently to be such an isolationist. I miss the fun, yes. But someday, I’ll get back to causing some trouble in a fun way, and being bent over with little squeals of innocence you shouldn’t believe -- or offering the nearest bottom as the culprit to take my painful payment with little giggles you shouldn’t hear.
Because the only thing for sure when a spankee imp says they are innocent? They aren’t.
What about you, my fellow imps? What would you do to playfully earn that bared and reddened bottom? Any stories you'd like to share? What have you done... would you do?
Hide all you-know-who’s implements in plain sight, in a bag hanging from the chimney? Wait until he’s in the bedroom and invite your spankee friends to jump out of the closet with squirt guns? Snatch a maroon beret right from the head of an Army soldier and take off running?
How about you? Any online pranks? Any playful prodding that you got away with, even here?
Anyone brave enough to squeal? ;>
I'm in a playful mood... shall we start something together?
In case you are asked if you could spank a straight male and you are straight too, what would you do? Does anyone has experiences with that?
This afternoon Master asked if I would like a quickie ?
I mean, how could I refuse, I am his slave after all. He doesn't even have to ask, he owns me, all of me, so naturally I agreed.
Whilst waiting for me Master jokingly said, ‘Blimey by the time you get upstairs, then get naked, it kinda spoils the quickie idea.”
I know what he means though, by the time I've actually climbed the stairs, got to the bedroom, had a fight with my big fluffy penguin slippers he bought me for Christmas as they are impossible to get off, I eventually give up and lift my leg up for Master to pull them off. Then the fight with the socks. Meanwhile Master is still stood with his clothes on watching in amusement.
My dress unbuttoned quickly but I asked Master if he was not getting naked.
He said No, it's a quickly, or will be when your ready.
Lastly the bra dropped to the floor, as I'm always naked below. I climbed on the bed and awaited instruction. That's a great bruise on your thigh isn't it, he said. He hadn't seen it since our play on Saturday and it was very painful to touch. I will upload a photo to show you.
On your back, right at the edge of the bed, he told me, as he dropped his jeans and shorts, soon my legs were up resting on his shoulders, his cock already eager for both holes. Dripping a bit of lube over my pussy, I jumped with the coldness.
I'm sure you can imagine the detail of Master's cock sinking deeply into my bum then pussy, my legs by his shoulders or feet on his chest or him or I holding my feet. The internal scratch of his PA giving me a shock but a nice one, then feeling it grate along the walls. Over and over, his cock danced about, sending me into 2 or 3 orgasms but I got told off for trying to take charge of my grinding against him.
I'm the top not you, he said, slapping my leg, and making me pout.
I hate lying there and not being able to move freely. But I did as I was told.
With us both grunting and grinding, Master asked which hole I would like him to cum in. Mmmmmmm pussy for a change, I told him. Though we weren't ready for the end just yet, a bit more dancing and I tried to keep my eyes open to watch Master's face but invariably my eyes roll up, lids close as I enjoy and melt into every sensation. I just can't keep them open. Long strokes, short quick strokes, I knew Master was close, the grinding quickened, our breathing became faster, he held my shoulders pushing his cock further into my pussy as suddenly I felt hot squirts of cum hitting my insides. I love feeling him shudder and convulse after hes cum, it feels wicked inside, then he slipped out.
After a clean up with some wipes we both lay on the bed, I knew I was eager for my missing morning spanking. Hoping the temptation of having my naked bottom just there would be enough. A nice hand spanking would finish this off just nicely. But no, :( I'm sure he knew what I wanted as he pulled his pants up, then left the room saying he needed to stand by the open door to cool down.
I pouted a bit when he left then eventually got dressed and headed downstairs too.So it may not have been a quickie if you include everything but it sure was a good fuck.